I am 32 years old and known as somewhat of a nomad by friends and family. I go by the nick name "the wandering nomad" due to my love of travel. I have visited 75% of the United States as well as half a dozen European countries. I have two sons and a beautiful fiance.
I studied computer science at the College of Southern Maryland, Indigenous Liberal Studies and Native American Art History at the Institute of American Indian Art, and US & World History at Southern New Hampshire University.
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6 Tips to Avoid The Death of Intimacy in Your Relationship
Expecting a relationship to work out without intimacy is like expecting your fireplace to keep burning by itself without both stoking it and adding wood from time to time - it just isn't going to happen. Avoid these 6 killer mistakes for a deeper level of intimacy with the one you love.
Avoid constant complaining about things that you don't have to. It's the little things that kill. It is the same in general as it is with our personal relationships because it is so often that we overlook the small things in life. In truth it is these small things that make up a great deal of the happiness we experience in life. For example the feeling of warm sunshine caressing the exposed parts of our faces during a cold winter's day, or the cool breeze that gives us a few seconds of sweet relief in the heat of midsummer. The first cigarette of the day accompanied by a steaming cup of coffee, or maybe it is the aroma of fresh cut grass in the spring. In our relationships it is the same way. Whether it is simply holding hands or planting soft kisses on the cheek or forehead, it is these seemingly insignificant little words and actions that can remind your lover daily just how special they are to you.
So ask yourself before you complain the next time he leaves the toilet seat up or she leaves her dirty dishes on the coffee table... first ask yourself, Is it really going to matter in five minutes? How about 5 days? If not, then skip mentioning it!
Not Being Consistent
One of the worst feelings in a relationship is to not know where you stand with your partner. Affection can fade and feelings can change, so when we are inconsistent in showing our love we are inadvertently setting ourselves up for failure in our relationship by diminishing the feelings of intimacy between ourselves and our partner. No one wants to feel as if they should be questioning the sincerity of their other half. So be sure to speak up about how you feel because talking more leads to understanding more and the more we understand our partner the deeper the intimacy between us becomes.
The condescending attitude of believing you know more than your partner is a sure way to make them feel misunderstood, and no one wants to feel as if their partner doesn't actually "get" them. So forget assuming that you know the inside of your partners heart and mind better than they themselves do, we are all individuals for a reason - we are all unique. Never stop being open minded if you want to avoid this pitfall because the truth is that no matter how much two people love each other or how long they have been together there is always more to the story than meets the eye.
While being a selfless person is typically seen as a good quality, like anything else too much of a good thing quickly turns bad. It is super easy to sacrifice for the one you love, in fact most people who are in love are eager and more than willing to do so in order to please their partner but when one person in a relationship has become too selfless it is a great indicator that the other party has become equally selfish or the predicament would more than likely never have happened in the first place. We all have our own personal goals, beliefs, desires, and habits that help to define who we are and what we are all about and while compromise in a relationship, as well as natural evolution of self, are actually good things, losing one's self identity is not. If we were all the same we could just date ourselves so just remember that the next time you wish your partner was more like you and work on celebrating your differences instead of complaining and avoid those nasty arguments where both parties walk away feeling less loved, less appreciated, and less understood.
Sex is a great part in a romantic relationship between two people who love each other, there is no question about it. However, disagreeing on exactly how important it is, or what roles one should play in the bedroom can be extremely toxic. Sex is an act of intimacy that should strengthen a relationship not tear it apart. Talking about sex more, as well as fantasies, can lead to a much better understanding of one another's thoughts, feelings, and desires which in turn can change that firm "no" into an enthusiastic "let's go!" Being completely open with your lover in the bedroom, so to speak, can lend to increased feelings of being wanted, but most importantly to the feelings of being loved, cherished, and respected.
Placing people and things in the proper order of priority is highly important in any relationship, whether at work, at home, between friends, or between lovers. Always put your partner first because when two people who genuinely care about each other decide to put each other first, typically things will work out just fine. So avoid talking only about yourself and remember to ask them how their day was as well, and while it is perfectly fine to give other people and things attention don't make the mistake of rambling on and on about your friends, your hobbies, or accomplishments constantly and forget to ask about theirs. Ignoring your partner's feelings or point of view is a huge mistake so make sure that you show how much you love them every day by making them priority #1.