MrAndrews

Suggested price:   6¢ to 8¢ per word
Location:  Seattle, WA
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Biography

To whom it may concern,

I am a recent college graduate (top 1% of graduating class) with almost ten years of experience promoting and designing culinary businesses (restaurants, urban agriculture, tourism ventures/retreats). I also have a great deal of experience writing about current issues in the consumer tech community (products and social ramifications), as well as curating and managing a critically-acclaimed poetry and art review.

I would like to work for you.

Some points of interest:

- I am highly tech-savvy; I can create clean, attractive brand-building websites for your small business, in addition to managing and developing your social media presence.

- I've interned/partnered with award-winning galleries, publishers, and organic restaurants, all on the cutting edge of their field.

- I have a strong practical background in governmental food policy (agricultural and commercial).

- I have several high-level academic writing and research commendations in food and digital media.

- I manage a critically acclaimed non-profit food and art review in my spare time, lauded as "...A Diverse And Unflinching Exploration Of What Is 'Now' In The NY Artistic And Literary Scene..." by MacMillan Publishers.

- Post-graduation, I completed a three-month culinary apprenticeship under a five-star French chef.

Do you feel these skills would enrich your business or publication? Do you need someone who is punctual, forward-thinking, and possessed of a witty, inviting style of writing and communication? Do you need someone who engages passionately yet realistically with the tasks required of them?

I am at your service.

EDUCATION:  B.A. In Sustainable Design and Business from Evergreen State College BLOG:  Poetry New York
CERTIFICATIONS:  5-Star Chef Apprenticeship CURRICULUM VITAE:  Must be logged in to view

Niches

  • Arts & Design
  • Business & Marketing
  • Content Marketing
  • Food & Drink
  • Games & Hobbies
  • Green
  • Humor
  • Politics & Society
  • Science & Technology

Writing Sample

So, in a flagrant attempt at trickery on my part this week, I have stumbled across a few points of interest I thought worth sharing. I frequently experiment with Google Trends, that handy little web service that tells us who is searching for what and where, to find foodie keywords which will entice the inner workings of search engines such as Google to direct readers to my articles. Trends lets me tune these searches by region, topic, and keyword to maximize local readership, as well as providing that invigorating and slightly sketchy Big Brother fix we all crave, some less wantonly than others. Free demographic research aside, what I discovered is quite interesting: nobody is using the internet to look for good food in the summer.

Almost across the board in the US, searches for fancy restaurants, new recipes, and edibles of all kinds enjoy relative popularity during the winter and spring months, peaking enormously in March and April before diving into some kind of deep sea trench, where they shelter through the summer, hitting absolute rock bottom in August. While September fares slightly better, it is not until October that searches for food pick up again with wild abandon. To me, this seemed exceedingly odd; sure, it makes sense that people are looking for fine dining around the winter holidays, but why does this behavior seem to cease just after the flowers start blooming? Here are some possible reasons:

  1. We eat less during the summer. This is mostly due to the heat, as it tends to keep appetites down and herds people away from hot, crowded indoor spaces such as kitchens and restaurants. Light foods are also easy to come by during this season, with greens and vegetables readily available. With sensibilities turning towards the enjoyment of raw, fresh foods, there is less demand for elaborate or time consuming preparation. The searches likely spike in October because this is the pinnacle of the harvest season, providing the most bounty for the table, and because we know that the gravy train of easy salads and Mediterranean pasta dishes will soon dry up.
  2. We crave variety in times of scarceness. Despite agricultural globalization and the 20th century’s revolutionary advances in food transport, it is still difficult and expensive to find the same range of delicious foods in midwinter; foods must be either nonperishable, cheap, or both. This leads to greater interest in diverse food preparation when faced with limited availability of ingredients. I myself have sat many a time at a sparse kitchen table in December, locked in a dire staring contest with my mortal enemy, the butternut squash, discerning the best way to render it marginally palatable. (The trick, as with many things, is a liberal application of brown sugar and fire) The vast spike in food-related searches during spring is a direct reaction to winter’s culinary shortages.
  3. Winter has Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Valentine’s Day, major food and dining holidays where kitchens and restaurants become the center of social gatherings and the general cultural focus. In contrast, summer’s primary gastronomic holiday in the United States is Independence Day, which revolves around that hallowed trinity of barbecue, beer and explosives, things which no respectable American would require online advice in dealing with, instead relying on our inborn national proficiency with both fire and alcohol, the breakfast of champions.

Even in the modern age of multinational supermarkets and the slow cultural asphyxiation provided by fast food, our dining customs still strongly revolve with the seasonal tilt of the Earth’s axis, and the data from Google proves it. Now it’s merely a race between spring and food journalists desperately clinging to relevancy. I’m betting on spring.